When you get a strong sense of whether the process of documenting is separating from the creating process itself and standing as an independent work. It just becomes more difficult trying to find something worth documenting.

I began to interpret how the creating process is intertwined and kneaded in life.

The creating process went through many overthrowns and recompositions. Just like my life in recent time, moving around in different places, bouncing on and off, forced to change before even settling. The accustomed timeline was shattered, everything was out of order.

And the creation of this work is the blur portrait of me during this period of time.

– 30 Jan 2021

I found myself in a sudden epiphanic nostalgic state of mind when the theme “Nostalgia” was brought up.

I am unsure if such epiphanies are authentic because it felt in some way indoctrinated.

How does being nostalgic reflect on me?

Mono no Aware

Rosy retrospection

Counterfactual Thinking

Resistant to change

Is it always the farewells reminding us of all things buried in the past already?

– Notes taken Jan. 2021

Some questions listed:

What is rational thinking?

Are feelings deviations from the original meaning?

How can truth be experienced?

Is that truth does not exist anymore. Or did truth ever existed?

Are news meant to be agitations.

Did the discernibility of the masses had already lost efficacy.

Is the world growing into a grand piece of art of emotional experiences.

Is it funny that I don’t have any idea of how to answer any of these questions.

It that because I can only feel since I have lost the capacity of to genuinely know something so that I can never reach an answer for these questions.

And are we trapped in this method of thinking.

021200040 is a Zip-code of Shanghai.
The song is randomly made while staring at the night lights from my hotel window in Shanghai.

[January, 2020]

The contact microphone is a rather simple project with infinite possibilities. I have thought about putting it inside of a soda can, but realized that the work was superficial and does no change to its actual attributes. I am thinking about modifying its circuitry in a way like adding components or integrating other modules with it, but haven’t really pushed forward the progress.

[December, 2020]

Entrapment

[December, 2020]

Settlers and farmers are more accustomed to a circulation of time in which all things and events always return to a seemingly starting point. This concept of time is like a plant which retracts to their embryonic stage and repeats the process of maturation to death over and over again.

Nomads and traders are always on their way, traveling enables them to be more accustomed to a rather linear form of time. Linear time helps to measure progress towards a goal or destination and the degree to which it is approaching. Therefore every moment is unique and unrepeatable. This approach encourages taking risks, living life to the fullest, and seizing the moment.

I would consider that experiments and creations are more likely to be accomplished in such state.

Though, it is very demanding to obtain such a state during lockdown, and it becomes difficult to carry out long-term progressive work and creation. The attempts we make during lockdown are unavoidably more likely to be brief and repetitive. Such repetition will lead to a situation where even if there’s effort made in every single day, the progress is still indistinctive in short terms. And this is the main factor why I think it causes disappointments and depressions. When we realize that what changes through time are irreversible, the feeling of loss and sadness becomes our everyday experience. ”